A Simple Method for Dealing with Anxiety and Emotional Upheaval

Anxiety in children is more common than many of us realise.

 

According to the CDC, about 9.4% of children aged 3-17 years have been diagnosed with anxiety. That's roughly 5.8 million children in the U.S. alone. Comorbidity: About 37.9% of children with anxiety also have behaviour problems, and 32.3% also have depression

 

If you're a parent, these numbers might feel overwhelming, but understanding and managing your child's anxiety can make a significant difference.

 

Here are the steps to one systematic approach that I've 'designed':

 

ENTER the HEATMAP

 

Step 1: Track Anxiety Episodes

The first step in managing anxiety is to track it. Creating a log to record anxiety episodes can help you identify patterns and triggers. Here's what to include in your log:

- Date and Time: When did the episode occur?

- Location: Where was your child?

- Who was present: Who else was there?

- Situation/Context: What was happening?

- Intensity: Rate the episode (mild, moderate, severe).

- Physical symptoms: Note any physical signs (e.g., rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling).

- Thoughts or worries: What was your child thinking or worrying about?

- Behaviours: What did your child do (e.g., avoidance, seeking reassurance)?

- What happened before, during, and after the episode: Describe the sequence of events.

 

Case Example:

- Date and Time: 18 September 2024, 08:00

- Location: Home, during breakfast

- Who was present: Mum, Dad, and sibling

- Situation/Context: Getting ready for school

- Intensity: Moderate

- Physical symptoms: Sweating, trembling

- Thoughts or worries: "What if I forget my homework?"

- Behaviours: Refused to eat, clung to Mum

- What happened before, during, and after the episode: Child was fine before breakfast, became anxious when reminded about school, calmed down after reassurance from Mum.

 

Step 2: Identify Common Triggers and Patterns

Once you have a few entries in your log, review them to spot patterns. Look for:

- Time patterns: (e.g., mornings, before bed)

- Locations: (e.g., school, public places)

- Social situations: (e.g., with peers, in crowds)

- Activities or events: (e.g., tests, performances)

- Physiological factors: (e.g., hunger, fatigue)

 

Case Example:

- Pattern Identified: Anxiety episodes often occur in the morning before school.

 

Step 3: Create an Anxiety Heatmap

A heatmap can help visualise your data. Use a grid with days of the week and times of day, and colour-code based on anxiety intensity. Add symbols for common triggers or symptoms.

 

Diagram Example:

| Time/Day | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday |

|----------|--------|---------|-----------|----------|--------|

| Morning | 🔴 | 🟠 | 🔴 | 🟢 | 🔴 |

| Afternoon| 🟢 | 🟢 | 🟢 | 🟢 | 🟢 |

| Evening | 🟢 | 🟢 | 🟢 | 🟢 | 🟢 |

- 🔴 Severe

- 🟠 Moderate

- 🟢 Mild

 

Step 4: Analyse Unmet Needs and Skill Gaps

Based on your heatmap, identify unmet needs and skill gaps:

- Unmet Needs:

- Safety and security

- Predictability

- Social connection

- Autonomy

- Competence

- Skill Gaps:

- Emotion regulation

- Problem-solving

- Social skills

- Time management

- Assertiveness

 

Case Example:

- Unmet Need: Predictability (child feels anxious about unexpected changes).

- Skill Gap: Emotion regulation (child struggles to calm down when anxious).

 

Step 5: Develop a Collaborative Action Plan

Choose one unmet need and one skill gap to focus on. Create specific, achievable interventions for each:

- Unmet Need Intervention:

- Define the need: Predictability

- List specific actions to address it: Create a morning routine chart

- Set a timeline for implementation: Start using the chart next Monday

- Skill Gap Intervention:

- Identify the skill to develop: Emotion regulation

- Break it down into manageable steps: Teach deep breathing exercises

- Create practice opportunities: Practice deep breathing every evening

 

Step 6: Implement and Monitor

Put your plan into action. Continue tracking anxiety episodes and update your heatmap regularly.

 

Step 7: Review and Refine

After a set period (e.g., one month), assess the effectiveness of your interventions. Adjust your plan as needed and choose new focus areas if necessary.

 

Case Example:

- Review: After one month, the morning routine chart has reduced anxiety episodes.

- Refine: Continue using the chart and introduce a reward system for following the routine.

 

Final Thoughts

Managing anxiety in children is a journey, not a sprint. By tracking episodes, identifying patterns, and addressing unmet needs and skill gaps, you can help your child navigate their anxiety more effectively. Remember, it's about progress, not perfection. And if all else fails, there's always chocolate. Just kidding. Sort of.

 

If you'd like to learn more about this approach to managing emotional meltdowns...go here

https://www.huddlewisdom.com/the-meltdown-solution-ebook