Why 1 in 5 Kids Are Anxious: The Shocking Truth Every Parent Needs to Know!

Did you know that anxiety among children has nearly doubled in recent years? According to a meta-analysis, 20.5% of youth worldwide now struggle with anxiety symptoms. That’s 1 in 5 kids! Today, I want to share some practical strategies to help your child understand and articulate their feelings of anxiety, especially if they are hard to engage.

Let’s start with a real-life example. Recently, I took a risk with a 15-year-old gamer who played video games for about 7 hours a day and only spent 2 hours on school work. Instead of confronting him about his school work, I asked, “Why aren’t you playing more video games?” I know, I know how that sounds, but bear with me. This unexpected question disarmed him and opened the door for a more meaningful conversation. Why I did this, I find hard to explain. I took a risk. I don’t recommend that unless you are able to connect with someone and empathise (Will Graham style)

- learn more here (www.huddlewisdom.com/foundationsofconnection). I knew he was feigning opposition. He wanted to connect. He wanted to do better. There was something in his resistance that was halfway. Hesitant. Like he was testing the waters. So based on the things he said previously, I used my empathic prowess (yes, I am not an imposter anymore. I am owning this skill gift which you can learn too) to take a punt. And it worked rather well. Engagement! And he even said he would come back to see me (he said at first, he didn’t want to be there!).

By framing the question this way, I was able to reduce his defensiveness and show that I wasn’t there to criticize, but to understand his perspective. This built trust and rapport, making him feel heard and respected. I then asked, “Is there a part of you that thinks some school work is important?” This prompted him to reflect on his own values and responsibilities, rather than feeling like they were being imposed on him. It encouraged self-reflection and internal motivation, which can be more effective than external pressure.

This approach aligns with several key strategies for engaging children who are hard to engage, especially those with anxiety. Let’s break down these strategies:

1. Understand Their Triggers

• Identify Specific Triggers: Pay attention to what situations or activities seem to cause the most anxiety. Gradually introduce your child to anxiety-inducing situations in a controlled and supportive manner.

2. Use Play-Based Techniques

• Therapeutic Play: Activities like drawing, role-playing, or using puppets can help children express their feelings in a non-threatening way.

• Interactive Games: Games that involve turn-taking and cooperation can help build social skills and reduce anxiety.

3. Incorporate Sensory Activities

• Calming Techniques: Activities like deep touch pressure (e.g., massage, using a weighted blanket) can help calm the nervous system.

• Sensory Play: Engage in activities that involve different textures, sounds, and movements to help children feel more grounded.

4. Break Down Tasks

• Small Steps: Break down larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each small success to build confidence.

• Visual Schedules: Use visual aids to outline the steps of an activity or routine, which can help reduce anxiety about what to expect.

5. Create a Supportive Environment

• Safe Spaces: Ensure there are safe, quiet spaces where your child can retreat if they feel overwhelmed.

• Consistent Routines: Maintain a consistent daily routine to provide a sense of security and predictability.

6. Positive Reinforcement

• Praise and Rewards: Use positive reinforcement to encourage desired behaviors. Praise efforts, not just outcomes.

• Encouragement: Offer consistent encouragement and reassurance to help build your child’s self-esteem.

7. Professional Support

• Therapists and Counselors: Sometimes, professional help is necessary. Therapists can provide specialized strategies and support tailored to your child’s needs.

Did you know that by 2020, 5.6 million kids (9.2%) had been diagnosed with anxiety problems, and 2.4 million (4.0%) had been diagnosed with depression? Crazy. These numbers highlight the growing mental health crisis among children. Despite these increases, many children are not receiving the mental health care they need. That's even crazier, no? In 2020, only 80% of kids who needed counseling or other mental health services received them.

So, what can we do as parents? Here are some practical tips - my little contribution:

• Create a Safe Space for Open Communication: Encourage your child to talk about their feelings. Use phrases like, “It’s okay to feel scared sometimes. Can you tell me more about what you’re feeling?” Active listening is crucial—pay close attention to what your child is saying without interrupting, and show empathy by acknowledging their feelings.

• Use Age-Appropriate Language: Help your child understand and express their emotions with words they can understand. For younger children, you might say, “It sounds like you have butterflies in your tummy.” Visual aids like emotion charts or feeling faces can also be helpful.

• Model Emotional Articulation: Demonstrate how to talk about emotions by sharing your own feelings in an age-appropriate way. For example, “I felt nervous before my meeting today, but I took deep breaths to calm down.” Show them how to approach and solve problems that cause anxiety.

• Teach Coping Strategies: Equip your child with practical coping strategies like deep breathing or counting to ten. Mindfulness activities, such as guided imagery or progressive muscle relaxation, can also help children feel more grounded and calm.

• Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions by saying things like, “It’s okay to feel anxious about new situations.” Avoid dismissing their feelings with phrases like, “There’s nothing to worry about.” Instead, focus on understanding their perspective and offering reassurance.

• Create a Routine: A predictable routine can provide a sense of security and reduce anxiety triggers. Ensure your child has a consistent daily schedule, including a regular bedtime routine to promote better sleep.

By understanding and addressing the unique needs of hard-to-engage children, we can help them feel more comfortable and supported. Remember, staying curious, validating feelings, and working together to find solutions can make a big difference. If needed, don’t hesitate to seek professional support to provide your child with the best possible care. How do your children typically respond to new activities or social situations? Share your experiences with us!

Thanks for reading. If you found this information helpful, please share it with other parents or your clients who might benefit. Until next time, take care and stay connected.