Helping Anxious Kids Thrive

In the latest episode of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast, I tackle the overwhelming feelings many of us face when helping children or patients during a meltdown, or when coaching another adult or caregiver through similar situations.

Often, I'm asked what the solution is for handling meltdowns. If you're asking that question in the heat of the moment, it's probably too late. Addressing a meltdown with the sole goal of stopping it is rarely effective. A meltdown is a natural consequence of a buildup of tensions, frictions, and breakages that occurred beforehand. To truly 'prevent' a meltdown, you need to start early and also spend time afterwards critically analysing the factors that led to it, including the triggers, perpetuators, and quellers. I cover these topics in Episodes 114 and 115 of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast:

 - [EP114](https://www.huddlewisdom.com/podcasts/the-huddle-wisdom-podcast/episodes/2148896669)
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Our mental health system isn't just inadequate—it's fundamentally misaligned with human needs. While experts debate funding, protocols and guidelines, a generation is struggling with unprecedented mental health challenges. It's time to speak an uncomfortable truth: the current system needs more than reform. It needs a complete reimagining.

Beyond the Status Quo: Challenging Comfortable Assumptions

Traditional psychiatry has devolved into a system that prioritises standardisation over healing. Practitioners find themselves constrained by guidelines that have become rigid barriers to genuine care. Many recognise these limitations but feel powerless to create change, caught between their desire to truly help and the system's demands for conformity.

The real tragedy? This isn't news to those inside the system. Many practitioners see these failures daily but feel unable to spark meaningful change. They're forced to choose between their professional standing and their deepest...

Risk and uncertainty are two different beasts, yet our brains often lump them together. Our minds detest uncertainty.

Perhaps by learning to distinguish between the two, we can take up better control of our anxiety.

Understanding the real risks in any situation and accepting that uncertainty is a part of life is crucial. Step back, evaluate the risk, assign it a value—low or high—and manage it as best you can.

I think this approach helps us handle uncertainty in a more grounded way, keeping anxiety at bay instead of letting it overwhelm us...hopefully. I've worked with this a bit personally and in clinic...it does kinda help a bit.

Imagine the tightrope walker as a child dealing with anxiety—balancing on that rope represents their struggle to manage their fears and uncertainties. The safety net below is like the support system we create for them, ensuring they don’t fall too far if things get tough -sometimes we appraise risk incorrectly and believe we will...

As a parent, you've probably heard the usual advice for helping anxious kids—therapy, medication, lifestyle changes.

But there's a powerful technique that often gets overlooked: empathic connection.

Why Connecting Emotionally Works Wonders

Building a genuine emotional bond with your anxious child can be transformative. Here’s why it’s so effective:

1. Trust Creation: Empathic connection builds trust, encouraging kids to open up about their fears. According to Dr. Brene Brown, "Trust is built in very small moments."

2. Reducing Isolation: Empathy helps children feel less alone in their struggles. Knowing someone genuinely understands their feelings can be incredibly comforting and alleviating. As Dr. Daniel Siegel puts it, “Empathy is the antidote to shame.”

3. Emotional Regulation: By validating their emotions, you teach your child how to manage their feelings more effectively. This validation helps them understand and control their...

I know why kids are struggling more than ever with anxiety. Is it arrogance to say such things? Maybe... but hear me out.

Punch line first.

It's our modern world—a mix of digital overload, academic pressure, and societal expectations. But there's good news.

Elaboration now.

I think I know the answer. [Insert Hubris Here].

The Shifting Sands of Religion

First, let's talk about the decline of traditional religion. Before you get excited, I'm not saying this is the reason why we're not doing well. This shift isn't inherently good or bad; in my view, the decline is simply a reflection of the times. A function of detachable attachment. What? Stick with me.

With globalisation, scientific advancements, and a cultural move towards individualism, many young people are stepping away from organised religion. I think young people are less sticky these days. 

So, where are kids finding their sense of purpose these days? Let's...

Anxiety in children is more common than many of us realise.

According to the CDC, about 9.4% of children aged 3-17 years have been diagnosed with anxiety. That's roughly 5.8 million children in the U.S. alone. Comorbidity: About 37.9% of children with anxiety also have behaviour problems, and 32.3% also have depression

If you're a parent, these numbers might feel overwhelming, but understanding and managing your child's anxiety can make a significant difference.

Here are the steps to one systematic approach that I've 'designed':

ENTER the HEATMAP

Step 1: Track Anxiety Episodes

The first step in managing anxiety is to track it. Creating a log to record anxiety episodes can help you identify patterns and triggers. Here's what to include in your log:

- Date and Time: When did the episode occur?

- Location: Where was your child?

- Who was present: Who else was there?

- Situation/Context: What was happening?

- Intensity: Rate the episode (mild,...

As promised; here are the questions from EP106 of the Parenting with Huddle Wisdom Podcast

1. Questions to Explore the Origins of Anxiety:
a. "When did you first notice feeling worried or anxious?"
b. "Can you remember a time when you didn't feel anxious? What was different then?"
c. "Has anything changed recently in your life that might be making you feel more worried?"

2. Questions to Understand Physical Sensations:
a. "When you feel anxious, what does it feel like in your body?"
b. "Where in your body do you feel the anxiety the most?"
c. "If your anxiety had a color or shape, what would it look like?"

3. Questions to Identify Triggers:
a. "What kinds of situations make you feel the most anxious?"
b. "Is there a particular time of day when you tend to feel more anxious?"
c. "Do you notice any thoughts that pop into your head when you start feeling anxious?"

4. Questions to Explore Coping Mechanisms:
a. "What helps you feel better when you're feeling anxious?"
b. "Is there...

Did you know that anxiety among children has nearly doubled in recent years? According to a meta-analysis, 20.5% of youth worldwide now struggle with anxiety symptoms. That’s 1 in 5 kids! Today, I want to share some practical strategies to help your child understand and articulate their feelings of anxiety, especially if they are hard to engage.

Let’s start with a real-life example. Recently, I took a risk with a 15-year-old gamer who played video games for about 7 hours a day and only spent 2 hours on school work. Instead of confronting him about his school work, I asked, “Why aren’t you playing more video games?” I know, I know how that sounds, but bear with me. This unexpected question disarmed him and opened the door for a more meaningful conversation. Why I did this, I find hard to explain. I took a risk. I don’t recommend that unless you are able to connect with someone and empathise (Will Graham style)

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