Expert Tips from a Child Psychiatrist
During a recent session with one of my patients (he's 8), our conversation took an unexpected turn. We delved into how they, like many others, struggle with mood and anxiety in their daily lives. Sometimes, it can feel like everything is out of our control, and that life is just a series of ups and downs. But it's important to remember that we have the power to control our thoughts and perceptions.
While we can't change the reality of what happens in our lives, we can change how we interpret and respond to it. It's easy to get caught up in our emotions, but by slowing down our thought processes, we can better understand and manage our feelings. This can lead to a greater sense of control and peace of mind.
So let's take a step back and remember – even if it's just for a moment – that life's challenges are like poos and wees; they may not always be pleasant, but we can learn to cope and move forward.
Watch these videos here if you want to learn how to...
As Dave Chappelle aptly points out, we live in a time of spin and manipulation. This often makes us wary of those who don't share our views or opinions. In some cases, we might even view people who are overly kind or sympathetic as naive or foolish. But it's precisely this courage to believe in the innate goodness of others that makes us extraordinary.
Imagine a world where we looked at each other with empathy and compassion. Dare to think differently, to feel differently. It could be a truly transformative experience. So let's take a deep breath and summon the courage to be compassionate, even when it's not the easiest path to take.
Teaching Empathy to Children: A brief Guide
Empathy plays a vital role in creating genuine human connections. Not only does it help us become more impactful in the world, but it also facilitates trust, which is critical for winning hearts and minds.
Empathy is a multidimensional concept with numerous attributes that contribute to its effectiveness. While we are still learning about how to express empathy, we are also discovering how to systematize and foster skills that can improve our empathetic capacity.
A child's empathic skill development is influenced by a wide range of experiences, including the way caregivers relate, communicate, and convey their mental models of the world to them. Cultural and social media influences also play a significant role in shaping young minds.
As a parent or teacher, you have a crucial role to play in the development of empathy in children. Raising a child in the digital age is not for the complacent. While you cannot predict what...
At its core, empathy requires an understanding of three essential components. These components are: cognition (thoughts), affect (emotion), and perception (feelings).
Perception, for instance, is the ability to sense things through our senses. Although intangible, it is real. The wind, for example, can be felt but not seen. Similarly, when we feel an unexplainable connection to someone, it's like the invisible pull of a magnetic force.
However, empathy is not just about perception. Overemphasizing this component can lead to inaccurate empathizing due to neglecting the other components. Therefore, all three components need to be considered for optimal balance and impactful empathizing.
By training yourself to be sensitive to the relative "weight" of each component in any given moment, your empathic skills will improve significantly. This understanding can help to decrease the likelihood of invalidating someone and...
Teaching Resilience in Children: A Guide for Parents
As parents and educators, we all want our children to develop resilience and perseverance in the face of hardship. But which challenges should we encourage them to tackle? This is a subjective matter. Some kids are willing to go through the pain of overcoming obstacles to accomplish things that matter to them, while for others, it may seem like a waste of time and energy.
Before we can determine what matters to us and our children, we need to have a clear understanding of our values. This way, we can focus our energy and resources on the things that truly matter and avoid persevering with things that don't.
I believe that resilience is not a character trait but rather a choice. While some children may appear to be resilient because they don't show distress, this is not always the case. It's important to remember that resilience depends on various factors such as personal drives, interests, motivations, and context.
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Winters can be rough (or any season for that matter depending on your circumstances) in our lives and it can really feel like it's never-ending.
I think though that this could be our opportunity to take stock, rest and store energy we need for new growth. To plan what seeds we want to sow when the time come perhaps.
It can be extremely hard when or if a cold bitter season arrives. I definitely struggle to remain hopeful and to be still especially when it feels like there are cold harsh winds of various demands and pressures bearing down - and all we're trying to do is to stand still!
But when I find moments of stillness, I do my best to capitalise on those moments and spend energy really meditating on the ordinary things - what else can I really do in the midst of overwhelm? I can't think too far ahead because that might just heap anxiety onto what I'm already feeling, I don't want to think about the past too much lest it fills me with whatever unhelpful stifling...
The Practice of Empathic Discipline Audio Based Course is ready to go.
The course exists because I want parents, teachers and kids to thrive. With emotional intelligence and empathy you can help children master their emotions, guard their mental health, strengthen relationships and make better life choices.
Head on over to:
I don’t often read the news these days…and for good reason. There’s enough tragedy flashing up on my social media feeds already that I’m going to have to increase my antidepressant dosage.
The media have referred to Salvador Ramos as a man. He only just turned 18 last Monday. He’s a child; not a man. But he has been described to have been the shooter behind the killing of 19 children and 2 of their teachers in Uvalde, a city of about 16000 people nestled between the Texan/Mexican border and San Antonio in the USA.
If you were like me having come across that piece of news, I’m sure you would have felt sickened, shocked, outraged, saddened, confused, anxious and maybe frightened?
We’ve seen this before. Remember Columbine? Sandy Hook? South Florida? Buffalo? South Texas, and many other tragic events involving kids killing kids. The news talk about the who/what/when/where/how but hardly the why. I suppose it’s easy...
Have you ever felt misunderstood or invalidated when trying to express your thoughts and feelings to a friend or family member? It's a common experience that can leave us feeling frustrated and unheard. But what happens when we flip the situation and put ourselves in the shoes of our children? It's easy to understand why they may stop talking to us or give us the silent treatment. So, what can we do to improve our communication skills and build stronger relationships with those around us?
The key is to focus on understanding both what the person is saying and how they are feeling. When we feel heard and understood, we feel more secure and settled. However, relying on our assumptions, projections, and presumptions can lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations. To truly understand someone, we need to set aside our own biases and tune in to their words and emotions.
To improve your communication, try these helpful tips:
As parents, we try our best to shield our children from negative influences. However, the reality is that children are like sponges, absorbing everything they see and hear, even if they don't fully understand it. That's why it's crucial for us to guide them through these experiences and help them make sense of the world around them.
Teachable moments are the best opportunities to teach our children about values. It's in the day-to-day moments of life that they see our values play out organically. For instance, instead of giving a didactic lecture on the merits and demerits of virtue ethics, children will learn more from watching how we handle conflicts and problems in the heat of the moment.
It's important to ask children questions about how they perceive situations and how they would respond. This helps to structure conversations around the values you would like to impart. Using stories from books or movies can also help to illustrate important values. Be sure to...
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