Parenting Anxious Kids

During a recent session with one of my patients (he's 8), our conversation took an unexpected turn. We delved into how they, like many others, struggle with mood and anxiety in their daily lives. Sometimes, it can feel like everything is out of our control, and that life is just a series of ups and downs. But it's important to remember that we have the power to control our thoughts and perceptions.

While we can't change the reality of what happens in our lives, we can change how we interpret and respond to it. It's easy to get caught up in our emotions, but by slowing down our thought processes, we can better understand and manage our feelings. This can lead to a greater sense of control and peace of mind.

So let's take a step back and remember – even if it's just for a moment – that life's challenges are like poos and wees; they may not always be pleasant, but we can learn to cope and move forward.

At its core, empathy requires an understanding of three essential components. These components are: cognition (thoughts), affect (emotion), and perception (feelings).

Perception, for instance, is the ability to sense things through our senses. Although intangible, it is real. The wind, for example, can be felt but not seen. Similarly, when we feel an unexplainable connection to someone, it's like the invisible pull of a magnetic force.

However, empathy is not just about perception. Overemphasizing this component can lead to inaccurate empathizing due to neglecting the other components. Therefore, all three components need to be considered for optimal balance and impactful empathizing.

By training yourself to be sensitive to the relative "weight" of each component in any given moment, your empathic skills will improve significantly. This understanding can help to decrease the likelihood of invalidating someone and...

Have you ever felt misunderstood or invalidated when trying to express your thoughts and feelings to a friend or family member? It's a common experience that can leave us feeling frustrated and unheard. But what happens when we flip the situation and put ourselves in the shoes of our children? It's easy to understand why they may stop talking to us or give us the silent treatment. So, what can we do to improve our communication skills and build stronger relationships with those around us?

The key is to focus on understanding both what the person is saying and how they are feeling. When we feel heard and understood, we feel more secure and settled. However, relying on our assumptions, projections, and presumptions can lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations. To truly understand someone, we need to set aside our own biases and tune in to their words and emotions.

To improve your communication, try these helpful tips:

As parents, we try our best to shield our children from negative influences. However, the reality is that children are like sponges, absorbing everything they see and hear, even if they don't fully understand it. That's why it's crucial for us to guide them through these experiences and help them make sense of the world around them.

Teachable moments are the best opportunities to teach our children about values. It's in the day-to-day moments of life that they see our values play out organically. For instance, instead of giving a didactic lecture on the merits and demerits of virtue ethics, children will learn more from watching how we handle conflicts and problems in the heat of the moment.

It's important to ask children questions about how they perceive situations and how they would respond. This helps to structure conversations around the values you would like to impart. Using stories from books or movies can also help to illustrate important values. Be sure to...