Insights from a Fellow Parent and Child Psychiatrist
I recently shared a short, light-hearted video on Instagram (do have a look if you're interested!), and it got me thinking about something we all experience as parents: meltdowns.
Those moments when our children are overwhelmed, emotions are running riot, and it feels like we're navigating a force ten gale. It's tough for everyone involved.
In the video, I don my goggles and swimming cap and then..... It's a bit of fun, but it's also a visual reminder of how we can sometimes feel during these intense moments – like we're being pulled under by the chaos. But here's the thing: just as panicking in a real storm makes things worse, the same is true for emotional storms.
What I want to explore here is the importance of staying grounded during your child's meltdown. Of course, this is often easier said than done. Our own emotions can easily become entangled in the whirlwind, particularly when we're already feeling depleted or under pressure. However, and this is crucial, our...
2024 was a year that tested me. The relentless bombings from my work life coupled with the ever-present demands of family, often left me feeling adrift in a sea of exhaustion. There were days when the weight of it all threatened to pull me under.
But parenting (or perhaps my children?), it seems, was a life vest that refuses to let go - it just took me a while to figure out that they were more of a life vest than a weight in 2024. Even when my own strength faltered, the needs of my children kept me afloat. And in the struggle to stay above water, I discovered a deeper understanding of resilience – not as a triumphant return to shore, but as a relentless navigation of the undercurrents.
Resilience wasn't about erasing the impact of the storm; it was about charting a new course through the choppy waters. It was about making deliberate choices, even when my inner compass spun wildly.
Intentionality as an...
As we step into 2025, many of us are reflecting on how to better support the anxious children in our lives. One concept I find particularly helpful is what I call the "Threat Telescope."
Imagine your child is holding a telescope backwards. Just as this makes distant objects appear smaller, anxiety does the opposite – it magnifies potential threats while shrinking the view of resources, support, and coping abilities. Through this threat telescope:
- A class presentation becomes a guaranteed humiliation
- A playdate morphs into a minefield of social rejection
- A maths test transforms into a measure of their entire worth
- A new situation appears impossibly overwhelming
But here's what's crucial to understand: Each child's threat telescope is uniquely calibrated. Some children might find social situations particularly magnified, while others might zoom in on academic challenges or changes in routine. This is why a one-size-fits-all approach to anxiety support often falls short.
...
Merry (belated) Christmas and welcome to 2025!
Wow, what a year 2024 was! Things just keep getting busier, don't they? Or is it just me?
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I often find myself juggling a million things, trying to carve out some time to just breathe. But then I realise, maybe I should just breathe all the time, right?
One thing that helps me when I feel overwhelmed is creating things. And that's how "Tiny Stoics: Connect the Dots & Discover Wisdom" came to be.
If you have children aged 3-5, or know someone who does, keep reading.
Navigating life with toddlers can be quite the adventure. One moment they’re full of joy, and the next they’re having a meltdown over a piece of toast cut the wrong way. We’ve all been there.
While I can’t offer a manual, I’m excited to introduce "Tiny Stoics: Connect the Dots & Discover Wisdom". This dot-to-dot book for children...
In the latest episode of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast, I tackle the overwhelming feelings many of us face when helping children or patients during a meltdown, or when coaching another adult or caregiver through similar situations.
Often, I'm asked what the solution is for handling meltdowns. If you're asking that question in the heat of the moment, it's probably too late. Addressing a meltdown with the sole goal of stopping it is rarely effective. A meltdown is a natural consequence of a buildup of tensions, frictions, and breakages that occurred beforehand. To truly 'prevent' a meltdown, you need to start early and also spend time afterwards critically analysing the factors that led to it, including the triggers, perpetuators, and quellers. I cover these topics in Episodes 114 and 115 of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast:
- [EP114](https://www.huddlewisdom.com/podcasts/the-huddle-wisdom-podcast/episodes/2148896669)
-...
Our mental health system isn't just inadequate—it's fundamentally misaligned with human needs. While experts debate funding, protocols and guidelines, a generation is struggling with unprecedented mental health challenges. It's time to speak an uncomfortable truth: the current system needs more than reform. It needs a complete reimagining.
Traditional psychiatry has devolved into a system that prioritises standardisation over healing. Practitioners find themselves constrained by guidelines that have become rigid barriers to genuine care. Many recognise these limitations but feel powerless to create change, caught between their desire to truly help and the system's demands for conformity.
The real tragedy? This isn't news to those inside the system. Many practitioners see these failures daily but feel unable to spark meaningful change. They're forced to choose between their professional standing and their deepest...
Risk and uncertainty are two different beasts, yet our brains often lump them together. Our minds detest uncertainty.
Perhaps by learning to distinguish between the two, we can take up better control of our anxiety.
Understanding the real risks in any situation and accepting that uncertainty is a part of life is crucial. Step back, evaluate the risk, assign it a value—low or high—and manage it as best you can.
I think this approach helps us handle uncertainty in a more grounded way, keeping anxiety at bay instead of letting it overwhelm us...hopefully. I've worked with this a bit personally and in clinic...it does kinda help a bit.
Imagine the tightrope walker as a child dealing with anxiety—balancing on that rope represents their struggle to manage their fears and uncertainties. The safety net below is like the support system we create for them, ensuring they don’t fall too far if things get tough -sometimes we appraise risk incorrectly and believe we will...
I know why kids are struggling more than ever with anxiety. Is it arrogance to say such things? Maybe... but hear me out.
Punch line first.
It's our modern world—a mix of digital overload, academic pressure, and societal expectations. But there's good news.
Elaboration now.
I think I know the answer. [Insert Hubris Here].
The Shifting Sands of Religion
First, let's talk about the decline of traditional religion. Before you get excited, I'm not saying this is the reason why we're not doing well. This shift isn't inherently good or bad; in my view, the decline is simply a reflection of the times. A function of detachable attachment. What? Stick with me.
With globalisation, scientific advancements, and a cultural move towards individualism, many young people are stepping away from organised religion. I think young people are less sticky these days.
So, where are kids finding their sense of purpose these days? Let's...
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